The Trustfund Trenches
My dears, allow me to begin with a confession: I have always regarded J.P. Morgan Chase as something of a dependable houseguest—never the life of the party, but perpetually punctual with the rent, the sherry, and the quarterly dividend. After reading their Annual Report, the Shareholder Letter, and the Q1 2025 earnings presentation, I daresay our guest has outdone himself.
In 2024, JPMorganChase achieved record revenue of $180.6 billion and net income of $58.5 billion. ROTCE hit 20%, and they raised their dividend not once, but twice. If that weren’t enough to send a dowager swooning, they also retired shares, bolstered capital, and reported a CET1 ratio of 15.7% — all while absorbing the tattered remains of First Republic Bank like it were just a dash of vermouth in their fiscal martini.
The Q1 2025 report shows no letup. Net income came in at $14.6 billion, ROTCE held firm at 21%, and the payout ratio remained robust at 62%. Average deposits climbed modestly, and tangible book value per share rose again to $100.36. Their loan book? A stately $1.3 trillion. Their fortress balance sheet? Positively crenellated.
But what sets JPM apart is not just the numbers, but the tone. Jamie Dimon's letter is less a corporate memo and more a statesman's address. He speaks of global conflict, democratic resilience, and America’s economic soul with the conviction of a man who keeps both a Bloomberg terminal and a Churchill bust on his desk.
Of course, one must always consider the risks. Inflationary pressures linger, geopolitical turmoil looms, and interest rate expectations remain a gambler's guess. Yet through all this, J.P. Morgan compounds.
For your consideration, I've stitched together a little chart, summarizing the tale:
My conclusion? Allocate. This is not mere tolerance of the world’s largest bank. This is a courtly bow, a careful sip of ’96 Montrachet, and a polite yet unwavering declaration: "I shall have more, thank you."
